ABOUT FEMALE LUBRICATION

The vagina and other areas of the female genital organ is constantly producing slimy fluids. The production increases when a woman gets aroused, and then she gets significantly wet in her vagina and between her genital lips due to this slime.

The lubrication helps the gliding of the penis into and inside the vagina.

The lubrication also helps tor continually rinse the vagina. It is acidic and the acidic properties help to  protect against diseases.

The lubdication has sveral origines.

Some of it originate from the uterus and goes down through the entrance to the uterus into the vagina.

Most of it is produced in the vagina. It is proced by plasma seeping through the walls of thin blood vessels in the connective tissue under the epitelial layer inside the vagina. From the tissue it seeps further out through the epitelial layer of the vagina. These blood vessles relaxe and engorge when thw woman is aroused and the seeping of fluid will then increase.

Some of it is produced by the Bartolin's glands at both sides of te vaginal opening. This occur especuially around the time of orgasm.

The lubrication fluid contains water, pyridine, squalene, urea, acetic acid, lactic acid, complex alcohols and glycols, ketones, and aldehydes. The amount, consitancy and odor can variate accoding to the woman's health status, menstrual face and intake of drugs.

Life events such as pregnancy, lactation, menopause, aging or diseases such as diabetes, will decrease lubrication.

Medicines with anticholinergic or sympathomimetic effects will also decrease lubrication, for example drugs for allergic, cardiovascular, psychiatric, and other conditions. Oral contraceptives will often change the amount of lubrication, sometimes increase and sometimes decrease.

If the lubrication of a woman is too weak, artificial lubrication can be used in the vaginal opening or on the penis head or condom. Vaginal sippositories can also be used.

When a condome is used, the artificial lubrictation must be based on water as the fluid medium, since oily substances can dissolve the condome.

This picture shows an vulva in the rest state with little lubrictaion and the same vulva in an excited and engorged state abundantly lubricated by secretions. ( A free picture from Wikipedia.org)

ABOUT VAGINISMUS OR CRAMPS IN THE VAGINA THAT GIVE PROBLEMS DURING SEX

Vaginismus (vaginism) is a sexual disorder that consists of a reflexive contraction of the muscles in the perineal area (the area between the womens legs) comprizing the genital organ, the area between the genital organ and the anus and the anal area, and especially the muscles in and around the vagina.

The contractions occur especially during sex and intercource and also during gynechological exams. The cramping often makes the penetration by the man's penis difficult or hinder it totally. The thightening of the vaginal area also makes penetration painful, and this pain strenghens the reaction.

Many women suffer from vaginismus, but they reach orgasm through clitoral stimulation or petting.

When penetration has not been possible for a long time and the couple regard penetration to be an important factor for an successful fullfilment of sex, the situation can be seriously disturbing for both partners emotionally.

The male partner can also be misled into believing that he is not attractive, dispite the woman is constantly ensuring him that he is, which also can lead to psychological trauma for tye mala partner.

Whan having tried to get into the woman for a while, the man's penis can get flaccid again due to lack of stimulus, and this flaccidness also contributes to the problem.

The causes of vaginismus

Vaginism is most often of psychologicl origine. It can be started by previous traumatic memories during sex or during handling of her sexual organs. These traumatic memories could have been abuse, or it could have been a too violent or clumpsy handling by the man during voluntary sex. The woman might also have had an inflammation or anatomical problem that made sex painful.

The painful experience then constitute the  origine to a habitual automatic defencive cramping in the intimate area during sex.

The original painful experience need not be of genital or sexual kind. An experience that is painful enough can make the women generally react by withdrawal and thightening of the muscles upon near approaching by another person, and sexual situations are just one kind of many where she react this way with some body part.

Also cultural factors can be causal of such reactions. Nowaday there is very much negative publicity about sex, sometimes to the extend that sex generally is talked and written about as it was basically an abusive act and as if it is someting very dangeous. This kind of publicity kan make both women and men generally afraid of sex and cause problems like vaginism.

Often a teenaged girl is told that the first time sex will be very painful. This can cause cramping in the intomate area because of fear. The cramping makes the sexual act very painful in reality, and a pattern of authomatic cramping will begin.
 

How to cure vaginismus

It is difficult to cure vaginsim rapidly. It is firstly important to ensure that there is not any physical condition present that cause discomfort and fear.

Such a physical problem can be a hymen that is too strong or that has not broken totally. A doctor can fix that problem or it can be fixed with gradual streching by means of a dildo.

Then the woman must learn to relax better during sex. And she must gradually be used to the penetration until she can take the whole penis in its full length.

Each training session must begin with the women relaxing as well as possible but she should also be stimulated so that she is sexually axcited, but with the relaxed state remaining. Then a gentle penetration is tried. The first times one tries a very shallow pwnetration, but for each time it is made deeper.

Dildos can be used at the beginning of this process of habituation, first small dildos and eventually dildos of a size like a penis. At the beginning the woman herself can use the dildos until she is used to have objects in her vagina. Then the man can perform the penetrations with the dildo. Eventually he tries penetration with his penis.

A trick that often is useful, is to press the dildo or the epenis very gently but steadily against the vaginal opening. The the vagina may suddenly relaxe and the dildo or penis glides in. When this occurs, it is necessary not to akt too rapidly and only penentrate a small distance the first times. If not the cramping can suddenly begin again when she gets aware of being totally filled with the penis or the dildo.

Using some gliding or lubrication cream or oil on the penis or on the dildo and in the vaginal opening will also ease the penetration process.

A gradual approach during sex where both the man and women gradually tease up their feelings before before penetration is tried, will often help against the problem, and oftes solve it without using special desensibilitaion techiques. Such a gradual approch to sex is described in the following article.

This information is perhaps most intended for men, so that they can learn how to give their female partner an optimal sexual experience. The techiques described can also give ideas of how to cure vaginism.

However, sex is a mutual taking and giving. Women should also learn to do the same for her male partner. When both parners are satisfied, they both get the best experience. Also the woman herslf has som degree of responsibility for her experience. She have to tell her partner what is good and what is not good. Therefore the thoughts presented her may be useful also for women.

The following thoughts do not contain any revolutionary information. The intent of the information is more to start a thought process by the male or female reader, som they get more concious about how they can improve their own sexual practise.

There are nothing a women can experience during sex, that a man cannot experience himself. Therefor a man should think somewhat about what he himself likes, and try to give the woman the same experience.

Women and men react however differently psychologically, and the stimulation of a woman ideally requires another appoach than the stimulation of a man. Both the man and the woman should understand that they react differntly in the psychological sense and prefere soewhat different approaches, and both adjust the appoach to please their partner.

The woman usually preferes a gradual appoach where the atmosphere of the situation comes first, then a gradual psychological appoach including talk and caresses, then a gradual physical appoach where one gradully circle inn towards the most intimate body xones.

The pleasure zones of a women

A women has pleasure points at the same places as a man, but they obviously look very different, and perhaps some of the zones have a greater significanse than by a man.

The backside of the neck, the inside of the tighs and the line down along her spine are all importants sensual areas for both men and women, but perhaps caressing these areas will touch the feelings of a women more than the feelings of a man.

The lips and the thongue are of cource obvious sensitive pleasure zones, but they are perhaps even more important for a woman than for a man. A man may think that  alot of kissing gets boring fairly soon, but the woman may have another view.

The breast nipples and their surroundings are important pleasure zones for many women, perhaps more important than by most men.

The clitoris between the upper parts of her cunt  lips si perhaps her most sensitive point. Another sensitive area, is the so-called G-spot situated inside her sexual organ between her upper vaginal wall and her clitoris. This area can be stimulated by caressing with some firmness up through the upper part of the vaginal wall.

The anal or rectal zone and also the inside of the rectum are very sensual sexually by a women, as by a man. Meny women have however an aversion against stimulation at this area if it gets to intimate, and it is wise to appoach this zone slowly.

The rectal wall  itself have many sensual areas one deeper than the other. The two most sensual areas are perhaps the rectal opening and the muscles around the rectal opening, and the zone deep in the rectum, just before it bows to left and go over to the colon. These zones are the same as by a man. There is one difference however. By a man you can stimulate the prostate through the rectal wall. The area that is analogous to the prostate by a woman is the lower part of the G-zone. This is best stimulated through the vaginal wall.

Settings and psychological foreplay

As a basis for optimal experience, the right setting of time and place is important. There should ideally be no impending taks to be done, one should take some minutes to empty the minds from the worries of the day, the room or the surrounding should be clean and delicate, the light should be pleasant. The bed or other furniture should be made up is such a way that it brings the thoughts into the area of erotism.

The psychological foreplay is important. This may include things like romantic talk, a sensual meal, an erotic movie, looking at some erotic pictures, and of course a sharming behaviour from both partners.

Physical foreplay - general

Then the physical foreplay must be in place. By the physical foreplay, the man caresses greater parts of the woman's body, and gradually approches her erotic zones like the breasts, the buttocks, the inner parts of the tighs and genitals. But it is important that the women does the same thing to the man. This will make the forplay to a mutual experience and lead the man to do the right things to her.

During the foreplay, one should try to stimulate eaxh other to a peak of physical feelings. However, it is important not to make the foreplay peak of feelings to intence so that it resembles an orgasm or go into a full orgasm.

After the peak experience during the foreplay, the man and the women should calm down the situation somewhat, so that the foreplay does not go into a hunt for an immediate orgasm. The partners should take some time caressing each other, kissing and placing themselves in a position suited for intercourse.

Physical foreplay - kisses and tongue play

Kissing and playing with the tongues towarda each other is often a natural begining of the more intimate  pgysical foreplay. Often it is adviceable to begin kissing around the woman's head, face and upper body, and gently going near her mouth with your kisses. Then kiss her on her mouth, first easily but then firmer. And then find the way into her mouth with your tongue, find her tongue with your tongue tip, and play against the tongue tip of your woman.

Kisses shall of cource not be limited to her upper body and lips. Whenever your head is near some part of her body, take the opportunity to give her a gentle kiss, and the proceed by a firmer and more bastant kiss, and reach out with your tongue and tickle her with your tongue tip.

Physical foreplay - stimulating her sides, back and belly region

One of the first things to do with your women is to caress her along her sides, and at her belly region. with a flat hand and with gentle movements. Tickle her then around her navel and inside her navel with your fingers, and let your fingers glide downwards from her navel to the beginning of her vulvar slit.

Then let your hand glide backwards to her neck, caress her neck and all her backside with a gentle flat hand. Let also your fingers glide in a caressing fashion down her spinal region all the way to the beginning of her buttocks. These caresses are best to do when you sit or lie towards each other thightly in an ambracing position. 

Physical foreplay - stimulating the breast nipples and breasts

By approaching the breast nipples of the women, by caressing the nipples with the fingers or by sucking or kissing the nipples gently with the lips, the man can now intensify the arousal and streams of bodily plaeasure in her woman.  Also holding, warming and caressing her nipples and the surroundings in your whole hollow hand can feel very exciting and good also in other ways.

However, the women can do the same to her man, and with the same result. The elevated excitement is accompanied by the nipples engorging, erecting and hardening. The feelings a women has in her tits are not necessarily different form the feelings that the man himself has. It can be wise for a man to try different techiques out on himslef, and then apply those techiques that feel best also on her women.

The sexual felings in the breast nipples and their surroundings are extremely easy to arouse. Very gentle caressing, sucking, licking or tickling can start very strong feelings. However, harder handling do not necessarily increase the good feelings.

You can combine the caressing of her breasts by caressing greater areas of her body, for example can you let your hands glide gently down her sides and glide over her belly region.

Physical foreplay - caressing the lips of her cunt and her clitoris

The clitoris has the most dense nerve supply of any part of the female skin, with many densely inervated secreting glands and feeling bodies. These nerve endings are present in the wntire inner surface of the female lips, but with steadily increased concentration towards the clitoris. The Vater-Pacini corpuscles that are sensitive to pressure are especially important feeling bodies in this area. They consist of a nerve ending surrounded by nomerous layers of connective tissue,

When you have come so far as to caress her cunt and clitoris, you proceed as before by gently fingering near her cunt and go gradually towards her clitorius with your fingers. 

Now proceed by caressing her cunt with your hands. Open gently up her cunt by parting her lips with your fingers so that the inside of her cunt is very gently stretched and then colse close her cunt again. You can alternate between gentle caressing the outside of her closed vulva and gently opening her cunt this way many times.

Then begin caressing in the inside of her cunt. Caress the inner linings of her great female lips from beneath towards her clitoris. then very gently caress her inner smal lips an the inner mid area of her cunt.

Then begin to carefully caress her clitoris . Stimulate her clitoris with circling movements and by massaging it up an down. Then stimulate steadily harder to increase her feelings. This stimulation can be regulated so that the woman gets a peak of feelings, but you must not go so far that she demands an orgasm. If this happens, the play will be over.

The stimulation of her cunt lips and clitoris can be done with your finger tips, or you can use your tongue as the tool. You can also use your penis, but without penetrating her vagina.

When caressing her cunt and her clitoris with your fingers, some oil products intended to lubricate and to tease up her feelings will be of great value.

Physical foreplay - how to stimulate the vagina and the G-point

Stimulation of the G-spot can also be the way to give the woman a peak of feelings  in the foreplay. The G-spot is reached by inserting a finger or a dildo into the vagina, and massaging against the upper vaginal wall. However, this must be done carefully, and the woman must ease this intimate caressing by a right position, and some time of exploration is necessary to find the right area and the right method.

Explore the inner wals of her vagina, and especially the upper lining of this wall. First explore it all with gentle pressure and note when she gives a sign of a pleasure wave originating from her deep zones.

Then explore with a firmer pressure, and take especially care of those points that give her a wave of wounderful feelings. When the right amount and pressure is found, tease her up to a high peak of physical and mental ecstacy, but do not let it go so far that she demands an fulfilled orgasm.

You can also stimulate her with a fairly thick dildo that stretches the walls of her vagina in all directions. With the dildo inside you can gently move it in and out or gently circulate it. You can fuck her with a dildo at the same time that you are fingering the outer parts of her cunt, her clitoris or other areas wit your other hand. You can also let the woman herself stear the dildo, and you can take care of other areas.

If the dildo can vibrate, you can let it lay still in her vagina vibrating with the right powwer. The vibrations will spread from her vagina throughout her most itimate regions and tease up both her G-spot and other sensual areas.

Physical foreplay - the buttocks and rectal region

Every women likes to be carressed on the buttocks. Caressing the buttocks and gently circeling nearer to the rectal opening give a very strong stimulation. Grabbing around the buttocks and gently separating them from each other stretches the anal region and induces profond feelings of bodily pleasure. Stimulating the rectal area give feelings that go much deeper and touches much more profondly than stimulation of other bdy areas. You can then proceed by gently caressing the inner sides of her buttocks with your finger tips, and circeling around her opening with the tip of a finger so that the muscular ring around her most intimate body orefice resceives a gentle massage.

If the woman likes to be penetrated in her anus, you can carefully also insert a thin dildo in through her rectal opening. The anus is the most intimate orefice of both a woman and a man, and playing with the inside of the anal area should only be done if there is great confidence and both partners like it. If so you caress her anus with the thin lubricated dildo. Circulate around her most intimate hole. Set the dildo tip agsinst the wall and push it repeatedly against the opening. Eventually her opening will relax, and you can carefully push it inside and explore the inner points of her rectum.

Try out different kinds of gentle movements. When having the dildo inside, use vibration and take it very carefully some way in and out. The anus reacts somewhat different to stimulation that the vulva. Small, very careful stimulations actully give the strongest feelings in this area. By finding the right strength of stimulation, which is not great, you can tease up feelings that are as intence than the feelings in the vulva. Pleasure waves emanating from the anus also have a much deeper mental impact that those comming from the genitals, and can give a mental ecstacy of a very special kind.

It is important not to use the same dildo afterwords in her vagina or vulva, since this can transfere bacteria that give infection.

Intercource and climax

The intercourse should not be a routine task done in the same way each time. Neither should the intercourse be a race towards orgasm. An intercourse done this way will often lead to the man getting a rapid and unsatisfactory orgasm, and the woman getting no orgasm at all. By the intercourse one should take time and gradually build up the intensity of the movements. One should also experiment with different kinds of positions each time, or even change position a couple of times during the intercourse.

Not all women will reach orgasm through the intecourse, and not all men either will get an orgasm through the intercourse.  An intercourse without an orgasm can be a great experience involving a wonderfull sexual ecstacy, and should not be regarded as unsuccessful.

However, an orgasm is still a much wanted experience during the sexual activity. Many women can reach orgasm by further clitorial stimulation after the intercourse, This can be fullfilled by the help of her man, or she may want to fullfill it herself by masturbation. And, if the man for some reason has not reached his orgasm, the woman can masturbate him towards his orgasm.

After the climax

The fun is not necessarily over after that noth you and your women have achieved your orgasm. After a good orgasm you will still feel pleasurewaves going through your bodies. At this stage you lie tight against each other front by front, side by side or one behind the other. You caress each other very gently at this stage, you stroke over your woman's body with your hands and gently also stoke over her intimate zones. You can very gently separate her lips or her buttocks with your fingers and stretching her most central zones, play gently between her intimate clefts and between her legs. And she can do much of the same things to you. By laying this way and playing gently with each other, these wounderful aftermaths of the orgasm can last a very long time, and you both feel the soft touches and the pleasurabable warmth from each others body.

Types of female orgasms

A woman can reach orgasm with different body poits as a centre, and so can also a man. During the orgasm, the feeligs radiate from the centre point throughout her body and often more than one sensual centre participate in the orgasm. In the fullest form of orgasm, the orgasm originates in one point, but the feelings spread to all her senusal centres to produce a total physical and mental ecstacy.

Most often a woman obtains orgasm with the clitoris as the feeling centre. The feelings will often radiate inwards in the direction of the inner vagina and there also engage the G-spot.

G-spot-orgasm is perhaps the next usual centre for an orgasm. In this case the feelings often will spread forwards and upwards to also engage the clitoris.

The rectum and inner areas of the anus is a third feeling centre that can make an orgasm. Orgasm orginating in this area will radiate througout the whole body and eventually all her sensual piynts will be engaged.

Even the breast nipples can be the centre of origine for an orgasm. Also here the beginning orgasm in a breat nipple area can induce other areas to play along.

The more points that have been stimulated in the first hand and thus are excited before orgasms begins, the more likely will a woman expeience a full and total orgasm where all her senual points fully participate.

However, evrything told about a female orgasm olso holds for male orgasms. Also a man can get orgasms originating from the same points, only that the penis head coresponds to the female clitoris, and the area in front of and over the prostate corresponds to the G-spot.

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